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Goodr Cosmic Crystals

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$48.95 - $58.95

Product Overview

CELESTE MOONBEAM PRESENTS “COSMIC CRYSTALS”: SUNGLASSES THAT HEAL YOUR SOUL 

Grand rising! It is I, Celeste Moonbeam, spiritual healer and world-famous clairvoyant. (I could win the lottery. I just choose not to.) I’m manifesting on the goodrTIMES to tell you I manifested 12 new pairs of crystal-bathed, chakra-cleansing shades into reality. Boy, do I love to manifest things. Sunglasses, dreams, impossible bacon club chalupas--everything.

As all scientists agree, crystal healing is totally legit. Our good health depends on balanced energy in our thoughts, emotions and bodies. Just like my bank account’s good health depends on contributions from Patreon, Cameo and OnlyFans. When those energy patterns are disrupted, we suffer ailments, like headaches, anxiety and physical diseases. (So you didn’t get cold sores from me, Alan! You got them from your own bad energy!!!!!)

COSMIC CRYSTALS: OUR NEWEST CELESTIAL OFFERING

Have you manifested your Cosmic Crystal yet? Chiseled directly from the mines of your newly opened heart space, these Crystals are The Answer from The Universe you have been seeking.

 

MADE FOR                                

RUNNING
 

GREAT FOR

BEASTING 
BIKING
 
1 NO SLIP - We use special grip coating to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating.
2 NO BOUNCE - Our frame is snug and light-weight, with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running.
3 ALL POLARIZED - Glare-reducing, polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
4 NO LEOPARDS - Plus, no one wearing goodr running sunglasses has ever been attacked by a leopard (as far as we know).